Jesus An Open Prayer:  “Why I don’t pray.”

NaQuila broke all my Janet Jackson CD’s I had all her music and said, “you don’t need them.”  Then I knew I had a real problem.
Written 4 May 2010 – Just 6 months after I met her.
Jesus An Open Prayer:  “Why I don’t pray.”
I thought she was an abuse child.  But is was a setup from the start.
To: My Queendom Queens
From: Jesus Christ
An Open Prayer:  “Why I don’t pray.”
Everybody Has Demons
Just Living Life
Not on My Computer
How she sings these words and do what she do?
In this time of uncertainty, loneliness and dishonor, I was going to get on my knees this morning Father, because I do not know what to do anymore.  Please tell me what did I gain?  Why?  Please just tell me why?  Yes, among my own people, I M hated without reason and it is relentless and never ending.  But now even AM faced with a reason to feel shame.  And I do not know what to do but cry. I woke up crying these morning.
See there is this young man, who was a little boy when he move into my home with whom I believed was her son.  You know I never lived with a woman before and really did not understand what I was dealing with.
She told me she was abused as a child and I believed her, to the point, I even thought she must be the conclusion to Everybody Has Demons.  But all she ever did was abuse her sons?  And these was this one, who she beat and beat and beat.  I would get angry and take up for him and every time I did, I would have to fight her literally.  She was in my house, telling me s she abused this child relentlessly, day after day and I would get so angry with him because he would always ask me, “If you are God, then why?”
Then one day she started hitting him in the head with broom sticks.  His nose started bleeding,  He asked my, “Paul, why I am a healthy little boy and my nose bleeds for no reason?”  But at the same time she was working me, “You raped me,” she would say, talking like a little girl on Special Victim Unit, which she watch all day in and out, rape cases on how to fuck me over and I know.  But I could not get her out of my house and had I we she what she would have done then.  They kicked me out of my own damn house.
Taytan is a good kid or was,  But I did not know what to do.  Should I had reported her or did I have to she what abusive parents do?  She beat him and beat him everyday and I would go to the Blue Building day after day writing Janet and asking her, what do I do.  This woman is evil, she beats her children everyday. She says. “Let em give you a jump start and go to beating them, day after day, to the point, I said this is what they must do, but I cannot handle this.
First, I got NaQuila ATM and Dale mail.  She took her mail, but said, that mail is Dale’s.  My point I why are you getting mail here and he is getting mail her too.  Is he your man.  See, she asked my to be her pimp and said, one day, I am going to suck your dick in front of all your friends to show loyalty or love, whatever. I AM like, she is really crazy.
She robbed me blind, she did every evil you can imagine to me and yet, I know to stay away, but still hope on love.  But there is no love in her.  She abused Taytan so bad, I have to talk to him again one day.  I should have fought a better fight, but I really did not know what to do, I asked Janet day after day, what do I do, Daddy O’, Ella and my main conversations with Dr. Borden, was about NaQuila.
So I get a letter from the bank saying like Taytan and NaQuila and Taytan name is Solomon.  Before I went to bed, the Spirit told me, “Paul, they might turn your water off Monday, claiming your sewage is too high, you must have a leak.  I caught the water man passing this block. He came the wrong way down the road, when I saw him , he kept driving. They just never stop.  They know what I have in this bank account.  They know it is depleted and by Monday they plan to kick me into the streets and make me prove the Blue House or any house is mine’s knowing I will not get not one lawyer to take my case here.
Father, they had me do this, I did not really want to do.  Now I AM here and I really do not want this.  I do not want this world and giving it to them is not got enough, they want me to suffer?  Why?  Father, I ask, what did I gain?  But my children, I cannot touch or see?  I do not want this world and they can have.
But my heart tells me, Taytan is not NaQuila or Steve Harvey, but me and Latoya?  All day NaQuila would breed his hair, say my hair is nappy and never even put grease in my hair.  She would say, I always wanted a girl as she breaded his hair and he feared her, because she beat him over and over saying,” you no good nigger, you are no good.”
Thank you Father. I have to reach out to Taytan.  He say me and said, “Paul, can I bring you over candy and stuff, once in a while?”  I said no.  I knew I would be coming and going.  But Taytan out of all those kids, Taytan loves me and I love Taytan.  And I know the Father will find away to not let people like her keep missing up my day.  It say God has a way to make  a wayward woman get away and leave you.  While I feel she hates me, I cannot stop at least hoping on love from her.
The Spirit is telling me, NaQuila is not my Queendom Queen, but Taytan might be my son.  The code is some times you have to believe a lie, to find the truth.  Son or no son, I should have reported this, but she had them lie in front of Families with Dependent Children.  When he gets sick, she goes to the hospital to make sure he says nothing.
She planned to move him in here and say this is your house King Solomon. Remember, King Solomon mother had King Solomon kill his brother to steal the throne.  Then King Solomon placed his mother at the Throne.  Why? Blackmail.  He knew everything from then on would be ill gotten gains.
This is how I pray and this is why I don’t pray.  I never have much to offer and always be asking for help.  But this time, I did say thank you. He told me something for me for a change.  Taytan did not deserve the life he had and I AM a witness.  I AM sorry Taytan, I AM really sorry and someday, someday.
Jesus Christ